To everyone out there living with someone suffering from anxiety. You need to understand that your companion, that the person whom you love is different. He is special in his very own way. He trusts you with his life and his mental peace. He will wake you up with a cup of coffee for he knows that you love it. He will ask you not to go to to a certainplace because he feels that that place is not safe. Sometimes, he will be pissed at you for no damn reason. ( Reason that you aren’t aware of)
He at that point needs assurance. He needs a “I love you.” He needs a “okay, let us talk it out.” It is not like he is dominating you. It is more about the fact that he cares about you and doesn’t want harm to come your way. “Trust me”, “everything is gonna be okay” use these and see the change in him. He will calm down immediately. Is he apologizing a lot nowadays? Something is bothering him. Go talk to him.
There is an artist in him or maybe a poet or a dancer and trust me, you are his motivation. You are his inspiration. To deal with his anxiety attacks you got to be patient enough.
Go out for a walk. Talk about his dreams. Tell him yours. Talk about what you love and what he is afraid of. Ask him what bothers him the most. Ask him about his mother’s dream and tell him what you had for food that day. Ask him about the football match he lost that day and tell him the new skill that you want to learn. Tell him that you want to learn to ride a bike. ( If you want to at all)
He will narrate you his life and show you how special you are and why not? Out of all the commoners you chose him. You chose a mind so beautiful that can narrate the life of a river. That it can talk about the blue sky and why Ravana was not the bad guy. He has a mind that can broaden one’s perspective. A soul so energetic that can make a walk in the park feel like an adventure. A soul so colourful that his life is all about the black and the white.
And my reader, if you plan to leave him then don’t cut him off. It is not that he cannot take rejection. He could be the most experienced guy in it. If you cut him off with no proper justification, without answering all his questions, without seeing him for one last time, he will never get over you.
He will be wide awake everynight and will be thinking about you, where he went wrong or what screwed everything. He might text you and call you up at 5 in the morning and tell you ” I’ve stories to tell you, who is going to listen to them if you don’t.” or maybe ” I loved you so deeply, so immensely. Why do you want to leave me?” And you won’t have answers.
Gradually he will stop texting you and you will think that everything is okay. That he is doing good now.
Trust me, he is dying everyday most probably. He will talk to nobody and will write everything. One fine day you will get a text from an unknown number because you possibly will be blocking him very soon. That text might read thathe still loves you and that he wants you back.
So, if you plan to leave him then please make it gentle. Talk to him and explain it to him. Don’t just end it at “I don’t want it”.
He will be cursing himself everyday for the things that he didn’t even do and for the love that he had for you.
I can vouch for him. He loved you more than anybody possibly could. I’ve been through and trust me I know what it feels like too.
And if you know someone with anxiety then don’t sympathise with him. Just go and hug him and tell that everything is gonna be okay.
Go!Go!Go! Go hug him.
He needs you.
Ps. A gender neutral post.
– thank you.
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